Would a trophy wife eat 35,500 calories of Costco pies?

It starts after Thanksgiving dinner with a slice. One slice. Followed by another slice a few hours later after the kitchen is cleaned up. And then, before I know it.. pie becomes the breakfast of champions after early morning sales on Black Friday, followed by a slice with a mid-morning cup of coffee. Well, what’s a Saturday of decorating without a little pie break? And then by dinner, I am so overextended on my calories for the week that I rationalize the 15th slice of pie by borrowing future calories into the 2nd week of December. It’s like calories on crack.

Of course, we all have different definitions of a “slice.” Is it still a slice if you need the 4×4 spatula to lift it onto the plate? Is it still pie if you add whip topping and maybe some vanilla ice cream? Whatevuh!